I know what you’re thinking… well actually you’re probably thinking who the fuck is this guy, and where does he get off claiming to know what I’m thinking… but I digress, umm yes… ummmm…. oh yea, that’s right, I know what you’re thinking, even though you’re not thinking it, for the sake of what was meant to be a smooth segway, we’re gonna say you’re thinking “what the hell happened to your hair Cameron?”.
Short answer I got drunk, and decided it would be a good idea if I spurned the barber with a good twenty years experience sculpting rags into respectable do’s and just give myself a haircut instead. What could go wrong? After a night of heavy drinking, at three o’clock in the morning, in low light, using a blunt pair of craft scissors.
But actually that wasn’t how my hair got like this. The danger of cutting your hair when you’re drunk is that you’re actually really careful, and to be honest I didn’t do too bad a job, and the mistakes made can be just laughed off. What’s dangerous is when you get sober, and you think… if I could do THAT drunk, imagine how good I’d be sober.
It does not end well. And what’s more, you’ve already played the drunk card to your friends over the first cut. The first time you make a mess of your hair after drinking too much, it’s a jovial story with mates. The second time, it’s an AA meeting. So you have the choice of either sounding like an alcoholic who has a certain panache for late night styling, or equally as bad, you’re stupid enough when you’re sober to do something that, even when you’re drunk, kind of seems like an idea that might lead to regret.
I’ll bet you’re sorry you ever asked.